Actually, this question has two parts in it:
(a) What is the motivation for bringing in a product that involves r and F to define a quantity called torque, and
(b) Why is that written in the precise fashion r X F
This post will deal with the first part
Think about opening a door. Your experience tells you that you need to expend less effort by applying force as far away from the hinge as possible. How does this happen? Why does the point of application of force make a difference?
Notice that for the same angular displacement, a point further away from the hinge moves through a greater displacement than a point closer to the hinge. That means the same force does greater work when it is applied further away from the hinge. This provides us with a starting point.
Let us say it is applied at a distance R from the hinge and at the time interval dt it moves through an angle dθ. Let the force be applied at an angle φ
The work done is F \sin \phi \times R d \theta
Now, this example has been chosen so so that the effect of the force on the body is pure rotation. The work done causes only a change in KE. Hence, now an element of mass dm at a distance r undergoes a change in kinetic energy of
\frac{1}{2} dm \times r^2 (\omega + d \omega)^2 - \frac{1}{2} dm \times r^2 \omega ^2 = dm \times r^2 \omega d \omega
Now if you take this for the entire body, you will get
d \omega \times \int r^2 dm.
This quantity \int r^2 dm is denoted by I.
So the change in KE is just I d \omega
So now we have F \sin \phi \times R d \theta = I \omega d \omega
Then, F \sin \phi \times R \frac{d \theta}{dt} = I \omega \frac{d \omega}{dt}
and hence F \sin \phi \times R \omega = I \omega \alpha \Rightarrow F \sin \phi \times R = I \alpha
Denoting F \sin \phi \times R by \tau we have
\tau = I \alpha.